Empty Nesters Club

Empty Nesters Club
A True Story
By June Davidson

The youngest of our four children married and my husband and I found ourselves empty nesters after almost thirty years.
A new way of life lay before us as we embarked on life beyond children at home. Our first week-end as empty nesters we decided to venture out, test the waters and perhaps discover old friends who had fallen by the way-side in our years of child rearing.
Our big night to the local mall began with my husband's view of our activities. "No window shopping," he said. "We will sit on a bench and watch people go by." Now, all this bench sitting and people watching on our first week-end as empty nesters simply over-powered me with excitement.
We soon became bored as we watched other couples, some like us, stroll up and down the mall like a colorful parade passing by. It didn't take long before we could spot our new found peers. They, like us, wore flashing neon signs that read, "Empty Nesters" that only other nesters could see.
Soon, we chatted with old friends not seen in years. The conversation between my husband and Mrs. Jones quickly turned to her recent surgery.
Not to be out-done, my husband spoke up and said. " When I had my HYSTERECTOMY." Now, any other wife would have fainted or instantly slapped neon colored duct tape on his mouth, but not me.
My words sprang forth as a screaming moan. . .
“Noooo, you had a HYMROIDECTOMY!”
I watched as blood drained from Mrs. Jones face, then suddenly, without warning she burst into peals of laughter as I pulled my husband aside....explaining
"MEN DO NOT HAVE HYSTERECTOMIES!"
So gentlemen, heed my warning and BEWARE...least you become one small, hemorrhoid away from a pain . . . in the you know where.